Falling for a man with LVADTue, 10/02/2012 - 2:42PM
I guess I am using this forum as an outlet about my concerns with LVAD. I am a good friend of a LVAD male who wants to be in a romatic relationship with me. I am presently a healthy person....but I do understand the flight of being ill.
I really like the man and think he has the most beautiful soul :) And if it was not for his health...I do not think I would be hesitating regarding moving our relationship to a more than friendship level; however, I've been down this road with my son's father who had congestial heart failure and ultimately died from a massive heart attack. We had no idea about this device. Well to make a long story short...I began dating again, a year after his death. I have met quite a few guys, but this one man has stood out for me from the rest, but God knows I am scared to death of loving a man who may possible leave me.
I want to give the new guy a chance, but am really terrified of losing him once and if we should come together romatically. I just wanted to ask those out there your advice and input on this matter.
I am trying to decide should I just seize this moment and live and love for today and have no expectations for tommorrows or should I RUN in fear of loosing a special person?
Your thoughts and inputs would be greatly appreciated.
Hi, I've been in your shoes, and goodness I can relate…Thu, 10/04/2012 - 8:22AM
I've been in your shoes, and goodness I can relate. When I first met Jason in 2010 I knew he had CHF. At that time there was no talk of an LVAD we never even heard of it.In 2009 when they said he had CHF they gave him 3-5 at the most. I was sooo scared about the thought of dating him and even talked to a friend of mine. Ill never forget what she said. She said that If I had feelings for him not to be afraid, that I couldnt live my life in fear. IF i had walked away from Jason because of fear I would've never experienced the unconditional love that Jason and I have for one another. God lead me to Jason, and when I leave this earth Ill be grateful that God showed me what love was suppose to really be like, I found my soul mate when I chose not to be scared. How many people can really say that?? Now, you have to be strong though yes it is scary that anyday they could leave us, I think about that alot, I'd be lost without Jason. But I know in my heart God wants this for me,and I am so honored to share my life with Jason. In this life, there is no place I'd rather be, scared or not. Just look within yourself, God might be planning Awesome things for you that you haven't even began to experience yet. Dont run away honey, run to him!! My email is firstname.lastname@example.org If you'd like to contact me that way. We also have a blog when you can check it out, it might help you.
Thank you Shannon For sharing your story:) Your words are…Tue, 10/16/2012 - 7:42AM
Thank you Shannon
For sharing your story:) Your words are very encouraging:). Yes, I am terrified, but I have been thinking and praying about this matter and speaking about him with my mother. My mother thinks I should leave him alone but I am asking God for directions in this matter and I think you are right, not to RUN from the matter. My friend already had too many people to do this to him in his lifetime. It comes a time in one's life to plant your feet firmly to the ground during the not so rough times and the downright rough times. I will still continue to pray over this decision and let you know what I decide when that time comes, but for right now I think that I will allow things to happen naturally.
Thank you again for your words of encouragement, they were a blessing to me :)
And I would be honor to know someone as special as you and Jason :)
God bless you and Jason and I look forward to hearing and speaking with you again :)
Grace, Thanks so much, I'm so glad I could in some small…Tue, 10/16/2012 - 7:59AM
Thanks so much, I'm so glad I could in some small way help. Keep praying God will lead you in the right direction. If its any comfort my family says the same thing, still today, and the love Jason to pieces!! I know they think they are trying to "protect" me , but what they dont know is I would have missed so many things!!Keep your head up and follow your heart, whereever that may lead you.
Your also welcome to find me on Facebook. My name on There is Shannon Emory, The picture is a black and white picture of Jason and I if that helps!Theres also alot of LVAD groups on there too, and the people are just the sweetest!
Grace, Only you will know what choice is right for you and…Tue, 11/06/2012 - 9:57PM
Only you will know what choice is right for you and when. Let me just say this much. My son received is LVAD Sept. 2010 at the age of 24. One of his biggest fears and the thing that caused him to be so depressed for several months was the thought of how others would look at him. He always told me, "I look like I'm some kind of freak mom..who is going to want to get to know me, much less love me?" Watching him struggle with those thoughts broke my heart. This is a young man who thought he was invincible..was a hard-core soccer player for 6 years..had the most incredible sense of humor, and more love to give than anyone I have ever known. Suddenly he seemed lost and felt like he would never really "belong" again. He met a lovely girl. They have been together for quite some time now and are extremely happy. So, never miss out on loving someone because you are afraid of losing them that way. Just think...why rob them of getting to share their time with you? Live for today and each and everyday. Enjoy each other while you can. You could be that one that makes everyday worth hanging on to. And who knows...he could (and probably does) have many more days...years...than you may realize. Follow your heart, not your head, and never let anyone sway your opinion of what you think you should do. Good luck to the both of you. I wish you the very best....both of you.
a.k.a. mom of recipient who is now "Ironman" to his frineds.
HelpWed, 02/01/2023 - 7:49AM
I am with a man this is scared to b around me which I have seasonal allergies, he is so scared that he doesn’t live his life as he should. I been there through surgery, taking care of him. But now he heard of other patients dying & he just doesn’t want to b around me , if we do the he doesn’t kiss me. He just scared & I don’t know what to do.
In reply to Help by Valeesha E.Jamee G.
HelpTue, 02/07/2023 - 10:45AM
I just received my Lvad in October. I was the scared to be around people for the first couple months ( including my husband). I am being to feel better and the fear is beginning to subside.